I am beautiful. I used to not be able to say that about myself. There are 2 times that specifically remebmber being able to say it, know it & have experiential knowledge of this. Once before I met my now ex boyfriend and now.
Some might think that I’m vain. Hell I even think I’m vain sometimes but I AM actually quite beautiful. I look good in my skin. I want to wake up every single day & feel beautiful. I want to wake up every single day, look at myself & say I’m beautiful. I want to wake up & smile & be excited about who & what I see. Looking at myself now I think I’m beautiful.
There are definitely times in my life when I would look at myself & say some ugly things about & to myself. Now, I wear mendhi to decorate my hands, adorn my ears with cuffs to draw attention to how cute my ears are. I wear clothes to hug my shape & compliment my figure. This body was made by GOD with all if it’s wonderful imperfections. I love my big ol’ eyes that penetrate the soul & see all that usually goes unnoticed. Now my hair is my favorite thing to look at. There are 3 to 4 tiny gray hairs that mingle amongst the other strands, hiding, curling, tucking themselves in between.
I love my legs, arms, chest, shoulders & booty. Yea I said it & she’s been known to be on ten as of late. I LOVE my complexion. It’s a nice buttery toffee colored honey. I have a good ol’ golden bronzed & copper tone, depending on which part of me you’re looking at.
I also just discovered a new appreciation for the dimple in my chin when the same “flaw” showed up on my nephew’s absolutely adorable face. GOD made no mistakes when he made me at all. Even my imperfections are perfect.
So why am I talking about all of this? Because I am SO grateful to be able to see myself in this way. I was once in a relationship in which I felt worthless. I literally thought I had no value at all unless someone loved me. I believed I had no purpose unless somebody else loved me. Instead I love myself & I know my value exists independent of whether or not someone other than me loves me.
Looking at myself & being able to say I’m pretty & beautiful instead of saying “You’re ugly, worthless, not good enough etc. is such a. blessing. Before I felt shame. Then I discovered that shame is a step above death (more on that at another time) & my spirit wasn’t having none of that. So I took my time & slowly picked myself up from that & I continue to go in the opposite direction even now.
So I say LOVE YOURSELF! LOVE! YOUR! SELF!
It’s a simple statement but I know it’s easier said than done sometimes. Do whatever you have to do to be able to look at yourself the way you want others to look at you. I promise you it’s one of the most amazing feelings in the world.