​Okay so I am going to tackle this topic & for the purpose of this post I will be using the word nigger & it’s many variations & I will not be bleeping it out. I will also be using other words that are considered derogatory as they are relevant to my point. Other than that I am being as politically correct as possible to not distract from what I find to be very important. You have been warned…

On the topic of my brothers & sisters of European descent (& on other peoples not of African descent) using the word nigger in all it’s forms, I have to say this. Any person can use any word they want to at any time. You truly can… however… none of us are exempt from the outcome of using certain words.  If a person of European descent calls me a nigger that person must at least be aware of the fact that to a large percentage of us, the act of a person of European descent calling a person of African descent a nigger could potentially lead to violence. It doesn’t matter whether or not you think I shouldn’t get mad. What you THINK about how I respond to being called nigger is not relevant. Dr. Phil says that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior & I tend to agree.  If in the past the word nigger has been known to be the jumping off point to violence, discord, disharmony, etc. between the races, then one can safely assume unless things change significantly, especially in our current political climate, if one of my friends of European descent calls me a nigger the possibility of me turning violent or things turning violent in general is very great. 

Let me give you an example. I have friends & family that are members of the LGBT community. I have heard them use the words faggot & dyke many times. Have I ever called them that? No. Why? Well why would I? The LGBT community has been hurt by the words queer & queen so many times, even if Jussie Smollett came out & said “It is no big deal we don’t care about those terms anymore” I still wouldn’t say them because the possibility remains that someone might be offended & my intent is not to offend. I can say those words if I want but I know it was hurtful in the past & I do not want to even unintentionally cause harm. I love them so the words I exchange with them will be loving. If I use those words knowing it could cause them pain & they become angry with me, that is on my head not theirs, because when I chose to use those words I did so understanding that things could go left. I do not condone violence in general but I do understand how pain can lead to us expressing it through violence when the hurt gets too heavy for words. We are HUMAN BEINGS & the human side of us has limits. Being called a word that was used to demoralize & degrade us will never sound sweet out the mouths of the descendents of our oppressors. NEVER. So call me nigger or use the word nigger if you like at your own risk, but don’t tell me how I should feel about it because that is not your place. My feelings are my business. Your opinions are yours.

Is it fair? It depends on who you ask. If you were 300lbs & I walked up to you & called you a fat bitch would that be fair? No.  What if you looked in the mirror & called YOURSELF a fat bitch 100 times a day would it be fair then? No, because what you call yourself is your business not mine. If you gave me those hands because of it, even though you called yourself the same thing 100 times a day would that fair? If I came to you & said the words have no meaning any more, would that make you feel better about it? Who cares who is right about what? Doing the same thing over & over again & expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Calling people of African descent niggers, niggahs, or niggas & expecting us not to get mad is insanity. Calling members of the LGBT community faggots, queens or dykes & expecting them not to get mad is insanity. A man calling a woman a bitch, whore, or slut & expecting us to not get upset is insanity. It’s insanity because we KNOW those words are loaded & we use them anyway & wonder why shit blew up. It’s not about what you think it should be, it’s about acknowledging what it is & operating accordingly. You could be right all day but at what cost? Is the use of certain words so important to you that you would be willing to potentially cause more divison between you & another human being? Really?

Do you want to be right or do you want to have peace? 

Pick your battles wisely.