I recently had a birthday & I celebrated myself for four days straight. I don’t mean I hit the club every night. I mean I just did something special specifically for me & no one else. I sung my own praises, I told myself I am great & I told myself I am important.

I usually cry every year on my birthday because my birthday was never anything special. No one ever celebrated me so I learned to not celebrate myself. I haven’t so much as congratulated myself on managing to be a decent human being or making it through a difficult emotional time. I can congratulate & be happy for other people, I can support & encourage other people but I can never do that for myself. I don’t know how because I wasn’t taught.

So here I am at the ripe age of 32 & I’m still learning about love, specifically love of self. So this year I did things differently. I took four days off from work. I got a pedicure, did my nails, arched these brows & took selfies. I dressed up, went shopping & adorned myself with gold (which I love). I wore one of my favorite outfits, got tipsy in the middle of the day & danced until the rum was gone. I partied by my lonesome.

Then I understood. I don’t need no one to celebrate me. If “they” won’t I’ll just celebrate my [damn] self. I can guarantee I will feel down again, but over time & with some practice I won’t need to cause I’ve got myself to cheer me up. I feel uncomfortable when I take time to care for me & properly give myself what I want & feel I need outside of eating healthy & sleep, but I’ll get better. I know because I feel better doing it already. I feel happy.

I want to start a discussion. What are your thoughts, as women, about how often we give ourselves congratulations? Do you ever feel guilty? Why? If not, what has helped you feel comfortable with being there for yourself in that way?

love yourself, love life, love god



  1. I can definitely relate. I suffered with a low self esteem, and rarely congratulated myself..and that had a lot to do with the fact that the people I cared about the most, weren’t doing that for me. I think I finally just came to a mutual agreement with myself, and faced the fact that if I didn’t love me, nobody else would..and I refuse to depend on others for my happiness. As I get to know myself more I’m realizing that nobody could even love me, like I love myself! It is definitely true that self love is the best love…because I have been the happiest person, since I’ve started taking that into consideration.

    Liked by 1 person

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